French keyboard

Most of my personal writing of a creative kind (like this blog) is done in English. From time to time, though, I nevertheless have to produce documents in French. So, I've always had to decide upon the preferable kind of keyboard to attach to my Macintosh: either a Querty (for typing in English) or rather an Azerty (for typing in French). Well, I've never hesitated in preferring the Azerty keyboard, which enables me to use English as usual while inserting effortlessly, if need be, all kinds of French-language expressions into my writing. Admittedly, I have to memorize various elementary Macintosh keyboard combinations:

That has always appeared to me as simple. But certain French authorities are starting to complain about the Azerty keyboard as if it were an archaic device that causes huge problems, because it's impossible to use correctly. And they're talking about changing it. To my mind this is a case of typical French egocentricity, which evokes the silly old idea of systematically replacing English technical terms by French equivalents. You might call it a case of Gallic navel-gazing.

Australian couple kidnapped by terrorists in Burkina Faso

Doctor Ken Elliott and his wife Jocelyn, who've been settled in Burkina Faso for some 40 years, were kidnapped last Friday at Djibo by a terrorist group called Sahara Emirat, a branch of Al-Qaïda au Magreb islamique (Aqmi).

These Australians are greatly appreciated in the region, and local folk are devoted to bringing them back to safety as rapidly as possible.

Merely an imbecile… or rather a dangerous imbecile ?

For many years, in spite of tons of superb objects created by brilliant US corporations named IBM and Apple (which have changed and indeed dominated my existence), I’ve often had doubts about the quality of lots of the stuff invented in God’s Own Country. In the case of their latest curious invention, known as Donald Trump, I hear that my doubts are shared by many British politicians. In a nutshell, most of us tend to agree that this spooky fellow is an imbecile. But worse still, is it imaginable, as certain elected representatives in the UK fear, that Donald Trump might be a dangerous imbecile, capable of stirring up trouble with Muslims?

British politicians are aware that they have to combat this fellow who dares to treat Muslims as inferior citizens. But they must be careful not to talk about this big-mouthed nincompoop to such an extent that he might take advantage of the publicity. So, they prefer to limit their analysis of the Trump case to the question of hopefully barring his entry into the UK.

Reinventing the wheel: laceless football boots

Click here to see laceless football boots that the Lotto manufacturer was promoting several years ago. There’s a somewhat  déjà vu feeling attached to the invention introduced, today, by Adidas.

Hotel California has an empty room

The guitarist Glenn Frey, 67, a founder of the US band Eagles, world famous for its title Hotel California, died yesterday of pneumonia in New York. Their song was a splendid creation of what came to be known as California music.

Click on the YouTube icon

Human skydivers versus Airbus 380

This spectacular air stunt is senseless. It has no obvious purpose. And that, in a way, makes it all the more attractive… a little like those old-fashioned matches between a track cyclist and a trotting horse. Here's a short video of this weird winner-less non-match:

HAPS (high-altitude pseudo-satellites)

The expression HAPS (high-altitude pseudo-satellites) is a roundabout way of designating an unmanned aircraft (in other words a drone), flying very high in the sky, that can perform tasks of the kind that are normally in the domain of satellites. Now, one way of creating such an aircraft would be to start with a successful device, the Solar Impulse, and replace the human pilot by a small payload of the kind handled by satellites. And that's exactly what is planned, one of these days, by the Swiss owners of that illustrious aircraft.

On 3 July 2015, the pilots of Solar Impulse, André Borschberg and Bertrand Piccard, were obliged to terminate their last adventure at Hawaï. The aircraft had suffered considerable battery damage, necessitating major repairs, and their flight will not be resumed until April of this year. That lengthy delay seems to be giving them time to think about a HAPS project, for an unspecified date in the future...

Holiday idea for spring tourists in Brittany

I've just heard that, for the first time since the creation in 1992 of the Breton King Scallop Festival (fête de la coquille Saint-Jacques), it will be taking place this year, on April 23-24, in the marvelous little port of Paimpol, in the Côtes-d’Armor department. That's in the home land of my son François, and my ex-wife Christine and her companion Michel, where I spent time convalescing last autumn.

This superb scallop, Pecten maximus, is a species of the edible saltwater clam, a marine bivalve mollusk in the family Pectinidae. It is one of the finest foodstuffs in Brittany.

Its shell has always symbolized Christian pilgrims setting out on foot to Santiago de Compostela in northwestern Spain.

Tasty French pastry with junk inside

In France, this particular variety of delicious almond-flour pastry is prepared specially, once a year, for the Epiphany holiday, to celebrate the Feast-Day of the Kings (Adoration of the Magi).

The pastry is cut into slices by an individual selected as the leader of the ceremony (often a child), wearing a cardboard crown, who then offers a particular slice of pastry to each person. In one slice only, a porcelain token (in French, fève) lies hidden. Consequently, children are warned beforehand that they must be careful not to bite into this hard object. Well, customers of certain pastry shops in France phoned up to complain that they were not happy to have found an effigy of the right-wing politician Marine Le Pen in their Epiphany pastries.

As for me, in the fine pastry that my friends Tineke and Serge gave me, I was surprised to come upon an ugly little white and blue cylindrical object that looked like a tortoise. On closer inspection, I concluded that it surely represented a mysterious Star Wars robot, having landed on planet Earth with the intention of breaking human teeth. Maybe, certain innocent pastry-eaters came upon a terrorist...

I regret that we haven't stuck to nice old traditions such as porcelain tokens of the infant Jesus, or maybe a tiny chunk of gold, frankincense or myrrh.

Weird sea creatures

Like all living creatures on the planet Earth, they're our distant cousins. But there's no way in the world that we would invite them home for a cup of tea, because they live in the depths of the oceans. Click here to see a fabulous series of photos from the National Geographic.

Believe in Britain... like you believe in God

That's tough simplistic logic. You should say no to the European union if you believe in Britain (whatever that means... like believing in fairly tales, God and all the rest).

A poll was published in today's newspaper Mail on Sunday, and 53 % preferred a Brexit, against 47 % who wanted Britain to stay in Europe.

Few people consider that the PM David Cameron should resign if Britain were to leave Europe, whereas some say he should be replaced by Boris Johnson.  Recent events that gave many Britons an urge to leave Eueope were the flow of Syrian refugees, the Calais migrant camp, the Greek Euro bailout, the German sex attacks, and the Paris massacre. Some 43 % of people who prefer the Brexit say that they might change their mind before the referendum, whereas the same proportion of their opponents claim that their mind is made up (to stay in Europe). A massive 75 % of people admit that they don’t know whether their heart or their head is affecting their choice.

This latest poll indicates that Britain seems to have become considerably more Brexit-favorable over the last eight months.

Daniel Barenboim

This is an extraordinary performance by Daniel Barenboim who plays the Piano Concerto N° 5 by Beethoven while conducting the orchestra.

Barenboim's exhibition of an incredible degree of musical genius leaves me breathless. To put it bluntly and rather idiotically, I have no idea whatsoever about how he manifests such genius. In fact, if it was easy to understand how he does it, then we might no longer talk of his talent as genius.

Mad primeval scream

More than the Mona Lisa or any other celebrated work of art, The Scream by Edvard Munch was surely the first painting that convinced me instantly and forever that exceptional art could provide us with representations that were infinitely more striking and profound than anything we might see in our everyday existence. It struck me rather as the image of a nightmare. And I would imagine that countless individuals throughout the world have been influenced similarly by this painting... which they've probably seen only as copies in books or magazines.

The mystery remains unsolved: What terrible event has happened, causing the poor wide-eyed fellow to hold his ears, open his mouth and scream ?

Click French video for an excellent French video presentation of this anguishing painting.

Unidentified bombing in Tunisia

A Tunisien website has just revealed that unidentified fighters made devastating air strikes, last night, against coastal sites in Libya in the vicinity of Syrte occupied by Daech. For the moment, no Allied nation has declared itself responsible for these daringly successful attacks. Was it France ? A good question. As some people say at times: No news is good news...

Being offended is a childish game

In France, I've always found that the very British habit of "being offended" is relatively rare. Let's say that taking offence at verbal criticism certainly happens here from time to time, but less so (in my humble opinion) than on the other side of the English Channel. Indeed the following Victorian adage, familiar to all English-speaking children, would not make much sense to French people:

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but names will never hurt me.

The English intellectual Richard Dawkins is constantly plagued by would-be offended people, particularly when he criticizes religious beliefs. I can understand his reasons for retweeting the following ugly New Year wishes:

At a trivial personal level, I'm bored by nitwits who send me blatant rubbish through the Internet. A few days ago, in the genealogical domain, an Irish fellow tried to tell me that the first Viscount Massereene [1608-1665] had received his lordship because of the assistance he gave to William of Orange [1650-1702] in the Battle of the Boyne [10 July 1690]. I replied politely that Lord Massereene had died a quarter of a century before this battle, whereupon my Irish correspondant apologized curiously for "offending" me. He failed to realize that I wasn't offended at all. I merely found him a boring idiot, incapable of checking dates before sending me rubbish... and this had nothing to do with his strange idea that I might be "offended".

Where’s the stolen gold necklace ?

In India, a lady told policemen that her precious gold necklace had just been stolen by a fellow who was seen running away. When the police caught the alleged culprit, he denied the crime. The victim repeated her accusation so convincingly that the police had the impression that the robber might have swallowed the necklace. So, they took the alleged thief to a nearby hospital, and requested an x-ray of his stomach. Sure enough, the stolen necklace was there! But how coud the police get the necklace out of the fellow's intestines ?

Well, they made him consume an enormous quantity of ripe bananas. A little later, they gave him a powerful laxative, which soon produced the desired result. All they had to do then was to clean up the mess, extract the necklace and wash it with warm water and soap. Later, when the fellow was brought to trial, I would imagine that the sentence included the cost of all those bananas.

Australia, your lamb chops are ready

As Australia Day draws near, and the summer sun parches local brains, my fellow countrymen in the advertising domain are becoming dimmer and duller. In this idiotic video (with a meaningless title), we see Australian defence forces (transported by a single media helicopter) kidnapping Aussies stranded in foreign lands, so that they can be brought back home Down Under for a good Australia Day meal of barbecued lamb chops.

Critics point out that the video contains no images whatsoever of real live lambs grazing on grass in Australian sheep properties.

Ah yes, if only a few genuine baby jumbucks had been thrown into the casting, it's quite possible that this video would have become a cultural and artistic masterpiece. But then again, maybe not...

NOTE: For my final year at high school in Grafton, my grandparents (who were determined that I become a fine student) invited me to reside in their quiet and comfortable house in Robinson Avenue, where I had a tiny study room. Seeing that I was fond of lamb chops, Ma would often ask me to pick up meat from her local butchery. She always insisted that I ask for a packet of "lean, loin, lamb chops". This expression amused me because of the string of L-words. In fact, I never really understood the meaning of the first two unusual adjectives: "lean" and "loin". But I soon realized that the butcher's lamb chops, supposedly "lean" and "loin", were very tasty when Ma cooked them. I would imagine that my grandmother had picked up this expression as a girl in the bush, when she was living on her family's sheep property at Breeza.

Ripples in the fabric of space-time

Albert Einstein predicted that gravitational waves would be produced in extremely violent events, such as collisions between two black holes. As these waves spread out, they compress and stretch space-time, producing ripples, whose presence could be detected by laser beams.

The physicist Lawrence Krauss sent out a tweet yesterday suggesting that the LIGO laboratory in the USA may have finally detected the ripples of gravitational waves.

We'll have to be patient for a while before learning whether or not this gigantic scientific information is true.

Churchill's atrocious Gallipoli campaign

The Englishman Winston Churchill, First Lord of the Admiralty, was personally responsible for the disastrous decision to start the Gallipoli land campaign against Turkey, involving more than 400,000 British and some 140,000 Commonwealth and Irish servicemen. At dawn on 25 April 1915, an amphibious attack was launched at Gallipoli, on the Dardanelles Straits, the route to the Black Sea and Russia.

The bloodshed was gigantic. My Australian fellow countrymen have always tended to imagine that the Gallipoli tragedy was largely an Anzac affair, but the deaths concerned many victims from several nations.

• On the enemy side, some 87,000 Turks were killed.

• Some 29,500 troops from Britain and Ireland were slaughtered.

• Deaths of troops from France were more than 12,000.

• Deaths of troops from Australia and New Zealand were 11,000.

By the start of 1916, Britain was aware that the Gallipoli campaign had been an atrocious military error, and all remaining Allied troops were withdrawn. To commemorate that sad centenary, the royal family took part in a ceremony yesterday at Sandringham.

David Bowie has finally left us

David Bowie was born in London on 8 January 1947. The public got to know him through Space Oddity in 1969, just before the landing on the moon of Apollo 11. Later, one of his greatest successes was Let's dance in 1983. An 18-month struggle with cancer carried him away this morning, at the age of 69. Here's a photo of David Bowie in New York with his wife Iman, a Somalian top model.