When my dog leaves home for an hour or so, I never know what kind of a life he's leading

Up until a year ago, the favorite destination of my dog Fitzroy was a farm-house over in Chatelus, on the other side of the Bourne: the residence of his female lover. But, over the last year, I've noticed a significant change in Fitzroy's behavior. He has developed the habit of racing to the crest of the hill behind Gamone, and disappearing for an hour or so. But I've never been able to determine the destination of his excursions. So, this mystery remained unsolved... up until today.

A fortnight ago, as soon as I let Fitzroy off his chain so that he would come inside the house, he set off immediately to the crest of the hill behind my house. When he returned home, an hour or so later, he had a nasty smell. Since then, it has been too wet and cold to give him a bath. Consequently, I've been obliged to get accustomed to living with the nasty smell. Yesterday, when Tineke and Serge visited me, they were immediately conscious of my dog's disgusting smell, and they preferred that I leave him chained up outside, alongside his kennel. Tineke insisted upon the probability that Fitzroy had in fact been rolling around on the corpse of a dead animal. And I agree... although I've probably grown accustomed to living with this horrible smell.

When Martine arrived this afternoon, I warned her not to touch Fitzroy, because he was surely carrying traces of a dead animal. Through her job as postwoman, Martine is aware of everything that's happening in Choranche. She started to inform me that one of my closest neighbors, René, has an unusual pet: a wild boar that lives on the property like a domesticated animal. One day, the boar went out into the woods and became pregnant. It returned home with a litter of half-a-dozen piglets, and René started to feed them. Unfortunately, a fortnight ago, one of the little piglets appears to have died.

Hearing that tale, I immediately obtained a likely explanation of Fitzroy's escapades. For my dog, René's property is no more than a jog of 5 minutes up along the crest of the hill behind Gamone. Fitzroy has surely been racing up there often, to play with René's dog and the litter of wild boars. So, the mystery of Fitzroy's frequent escapades has a logical explanation. Likewise, Fitzroy's dirty smell is almost certainly the odor of a dead piglet.

Since putting together those explanations, which are quite logical, I'm less annoyed by the nasty smell.

Road-racing champion

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As a child in South Grafton, I was often terrified by wild magpies that would attack me when I was riding my bike to and from school. In the case of this ostrich, I can't guess what it had in mind. Was the animal behaving aggressively? Or did it simply want to go for a training ride with that team of professionals? An observer made an interesting remark: If the animal can run so fast, all on its own, imagine the speed it might attain if it had a bicycle. I wonder if the organizers of the grand prix in Dubai would accept this competitor.

World Drone Prix, Dubai

This fabulous racing track has been designed in Dubai for the World Drone Prix:

International Women's Day

Suffragette being arrested in London

French women who make things change

Click here to discover 9 French women who make things change.

Drone killers

No sooner had I seen the arrival in society of small drones, than I made an elementary prediction:

In the near future, a lot of so-called bright people are going to design evil toys whose unique aim is to destroy those nice little drones!

Well, drone killers have arrived. Here's a nasty specimen:

Discovery of a ghostlike deep-sea octopod

This charming little beast was discovered in the Pacific, near Hawaii.

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Within a few days, the creature became one of the most popular octopods in web history, viewed by countless people throughout the world. I wonder how we might let the little beast know that he/she has a vast crowd of friends from one end of the globe to the other. I wonder too how scientists might convince imaginative young web users that this is (I believe) an authentic real-world video document, and not merely a work of virtual animation art.

Hard disks were born in 1956

Hard disks were created for the first time by IBM in 1956, half a century ago, at about the same time that I started to learn computer programming. The first model was called Ramac, and it was bulkier and heavier than a grand piano.

Personally, I was aware of the existence of such storage devices, but I never actually used one. Seeing the clumsy way in which they were transported by a tiny team of human workers, I imagine that these fragile devices were surely in a state of breakdown for much of their existence.

It's interesting to see that the familiar acronym "ram" existed already: random-access memory. This was an annoying term, because it gave the impression that the contents of the storage device were not in fact accessed in a strictly determined fashion, but a little like throwing a dice. That, of course, was not really true. The adjective "random" was an example of primordial IBM marketing buzz.

What made the patriarch so batshit mad?

This old fellow—the Extreme Right-wing founder Jean-Marie Le Pen—looks as if he’s about to burst a valve in his backside:

What kind of event might have made him so angry? Imagine that the patriarch has just heard the vice-president of the Front national, Florian Philippot, announcing on France 2 that their party will no longer be celebrating the Joan of Arc festival on May 1.

Incidentally, it's reassuring to discover that the Extreme Right-wing Front national party no longer succeeds in trying to steal a dearly-loved French historical symbol such as our Joan of Arc.

Local weather report: makes me shiver

Here at Gamone, winter weather reports are often alarming. And the press photos accompanying such reports often make things worse.

I've just discovered, for example, an orange-level warning for four departments, including Isère, starting at 3 o'clock in the middle of the night, and lasting until tomorrow. There'll be abundant snow, icy roads and even avalanches.

If their weather-report service were ideal, it should have been accompanied by an explanation of the following kind:

If you happen to be living down in the valley, at an altitude of a few hundred metres, then we apologize for this scary weather-report, and ask you to ignore it completely.

Meanwhile, during the next 24 hours, I'm likely to receive calls from friends who wish to know whether I'm surviving. And I'll be pleased to inform them that everything's perfectly calm here, that I'm watching TV from alongside my excellent wood-burning stove, while my lovely dog Fitzroy is sleeping on the floor, and that the weather is quite warm, without the slightest sign of snow, ice or avalanches.

Alone in an old lighthouse at the tip of Brittany

Marc Pointud isn't getting paid to look after the ancient lighthouse of Tévennec for two months, nor was he washed up here after a shipwreck.

No, he took the initiative of asking maritime authorities to enable him to reside here for a while, with the unique aim of spreading information about this extraordinary place... and maybe persuading philanthropic companies to participate as benefactors in the restoration of the site.

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Click here to access the TV website about this adventure.

Video on Van Gogh

This trailer introduces a pleasant video called Loving Vincent:

Click here to visit the movie's website.

Planning for a major flood in Paris

During the two decades of my life in Paris, I can recall no alarming case of flooding of any kind. But many people believe that a gigantic flood will surely occur there, at some unknown time, sooner or later. So, experts are in fact making plans for such an event, which could give rise to gigantic damages throughout the city.

During the period March 7–18, with the help of the European Union, the Prefecture of Police in Paris will be organizing a vast operation called EU Sequana 2016, to test people's reactions to a big flood situation in the French capital. Many organizations will be participating, including hospitals,  the national electricity supplier, transport providers, communication companies and police forces. Even neighboring countries such as Italy, Spain and Belgium will be participating in this simulation of a major once-in-a-century flood crisis. The "big one"... to borrow California's earthquake expression. Not surprisingly, most Parisians probably refuse to believe that such a catastrophe could really take place in their beloved city. All the more reasons for a dramatic and plausible trial.

As recently as 2011, the residents of Montmartre were alarmed by a torrent that flowed down their famous stone steps.

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The most devastating recorded flood in the history of Paris took place over a century ago, in 1910.

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Is another great flood of that kind awaiting us? Nobody knows. But this possibility cannot be denied.

So hot in Australia that a koala used a bicycle to get a drink

Yesterday in the Adelaide Hills, a thirsty koala climbed to the top of a bicycle wheel to get a drink from a cyclist's water bottle.

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Passing cyclist Nick Lothian stopped to take a photo of the event. The koala was still drinking when the photographer reappeared on his return journey, half an hour later.

Fauna Rescue volunteers were called in to collect the one-year-old female, who spent the night recovering at the Adelaide Animal Hospital. The animal was due to be released, in an excellent state of health, later in the day.

Story sent to me by my childhood friend Bruce Hudson.

Naked weather report

How many French fighter jets does it take to shoot down a Belgian drone?

Yesterday afternoon, the French air force was lucky. The cost of their defense plan was minimal. It took no more than a single Rafale jet to take care of the intrusion into French air-space of a Belgian drone. Besides, the Rafale didn't even have to fire a single shot, because the Belgian drone crashed politely under its own power, all by itself, two hours after crossing over the Franco-Belgian border. Wow, what a rapid and gentlemanly aerial combat! Unfortunately, we'll never know which of the two aircraft would have been victorious if they'd been drawn into an all-out bloody battle. Personally, I would have bet my money on the French Rafale, for the simple reason that it's supposed to be somewhat bigger and faster than a Belgian drone. But one never knows...

It appears that the Belgian drone was about 3 metres in width. So, it was considerably bigger than a simple toy. A press article contained the following image (without explanations):

The press information on this spectacular affair informs us that, according to the pilot of the Rafale, the drone was traveling at an altitude of 1,000 metres, and at a speed of 160 km/h. One wonders how the Rafale could have accompanied the drone at such a low speed, without using some kind of an air-brake or a parachute. Apparently the drone was carrying no "charge", but this vague military term provides us with no more detailed information. For all we know, the drone may have been equipped with miniaturized Belgian weapons that were deliberately destroyed as soon as the presence of the Rafale was detected. How can we be absolutely certain that the drone was not carrying a tiny evil AI (artificial intelligence) device that intended to pursue, say, a ch'ti target in the Nord-Pas-de-Calais region?

For the moment, no information has emerged concerning the identity of the owner of the drone. A mysterious affair, to say the least. Or is it simply what the French refer to, from time to time, as a Belgian joke?

Leap year

Click here to see today's Google doodle, presenting a bunny leaping into the final day of February 2016.

Come on ladies, let's knock him out!

There’s a delightful story in yesterday’s newspapers about a criminal who couldn’t prevent his holdup in a boutique in Rennes (Brittany) from getting totally screwed up… by a few courageous female shoppers.

Towards the end of the afternoon, a heavily-built bandit dropped in to the shop Ombre des Marques in the Boulevard de la Liberté, and yelled out that he wanted to take their drawer full of cash, otherwise he would shoot everybody. Since the staff refused to obey this threat, the fellow stepped behind the counter and grabbed a heavy drawer containing the day's earnings. Meanwhile, a dozen female customers observed the surprising events unfolding in front of their eyes. One of them decided spontaneously to intervene. She cried out to the others: "Come on ladies, let's knock him out!" So, they jumped upon the big fellow, knocking him to the floor, and simply sat on him. The silly fellow was so busy holding on to the drawer of money that he couldn't even reach for the alleged weapon hidden (?) in his pocket.

Police arrived rapidly on the scene, where they admired the weighty work performed by the ladies.

A detective explained: "When we entered the shop, we saw that the bandit was stretched out on the floor, held down by the weight of the women. They're exceptionally brave ladies, because they didn't know whether or not the fellow was really armed."

The detectives congratulated the women, and set off to the police station with the captured bandit.

Best beaches in the world

Click here to access a lengthy and well-illustrated article in Britain"s Guardian newspaper on the top 50 beaches in the world. The list includes four French sites.

French site — Pyla dune, an hour's drive from Bordeaux

This huge sand dune is 2,7 km long, over a hundred metres in height, and a few hundred metres in width. The dune is located on the shores of the Atlantic, while its landward side looks out over a vast forest. This ancient dune is in perpetual but gentle movement, of an imperceptible kind.

French site — Morgat, Crozon peninsula, Brittany

French site — Bora Bora, French Polynesia

In my native land, Australia, the list includes a single beach: neither Bondi, Yamba nor Byron Bay. That absence doesn't surprise me, as I've never been impressed by Aussie beaches. I've found them hugely overrated, often boring and ugly, never poetic... but possibly dangerous.

French president visits the agricultural show

Click here to see a one-minute video of the rowdy visit of president François Hollande to France's annual agricultural show in Paris.

A few fellows actually vandalized the government's agricultural stand.

The idiots durely didn't realize that acts of that senseless nature are unlikely to win them supporters. On the contrary...