Michel Drucker found the right words

French TV is supposed to be in color.  I prefer to say it's black and white: either incredibly lousy or splendid. The time-honored TV celebrity Michel Drucker had harsh words concerning a nitwit named CH who would make me vomit if ever I were obliged to watch him for any length of time. Drucker has been around for decades, and his TV credentials are the finest in French media history.

Concerning the vomit guy, Drucker came up with a delightful formula:

It was impossible for me to do that kind of bad TV work. My mother would have been disgusted. She wouldn't have let me come home. She would have changed the door locks to keep me out in the cold.

Latest map of Mosul

This map has just appeared on the French Internet :

Click to enlarge slightly

How many days, weeks or months will it take

for the black zone to disappear... forever ?

In an upside-down world, roles change

Hollande has unleashed a terrible truth

In the book Un président ne devrait pas dire ça by Gérard Davet and Fabrice Lhomme, the most outlandish « ça » consisted of admitting that a chief of state might decide, outside any kind of legal framework whatsoever, that it is better for the nation that a particular extremely dangerous individual should simply cease to exist.

[photo Martin Bureau / AFP]

Many observers consider that Hollande was a nincompoop in enabling the publication of this secret information. One might imagine that, in doing so, he discarded his moral right to remain at the head of France.

I do not intend to say publicly whether or not I share these opinions.

I've changed the sense of Antipodes

Looking out upon an upside-down universe

Many voyagers have imagined for ages that the word "Antipodes" refers to a land on the other side of the globe. So, ever since the day I started this blog, I saw this term as a suitable title, since the blogger was born in Australia, which is roughly (very roughly indeed) an Antipodal location with respect to my new home place, France. Besides, that blog title gave me a pretext for popping in fragments of Australian news.

But, in recent years, the challenge of incorporating into my blog the theme of my land of birth has become hard and tedious. First, there's not really a lot of interesting stuff that happens in, or can be said about, Australia. Second, above all, I have fewer and fewer communications with Australia, even through the Internet. So, I was finding it more and more difficult to write anything at all on that subject.

So, I've finally decided that it would be preferable to eliminate altogether the subject of Australia from my Antipodes blog.

Maybe not the nice novel I need

I don't often read novels, and I'm not really looking for one at the present moment. Still, I thought it might be worthwhile glancing at a description of the novel that has just won the prestigious Prix Goncourt in Paris. Well, the author is Leïla Slimani. The theme of her novel Chanson douce [Sweet Song] sounds about as charming and soothing as a kick in the balls from a guy wearing football boots. She deals with the assassination of two children by their nurse. I'm sure I should read it... but I fear I won't. There's so much exciting news on the Internet and television about killings of all kinds.

Now kids, if you'll calm down, put your pyjamas on, and jump into bed, I'll read you a few pages of a nice story about children. And I'll give you a handful of cyanide lollies.

Is the big bugger still in town ?

Click here to access an article in The Independent suggesting that Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi might be hiding these days inside the city of Mosul. This information comes from "a senior Kurdish official" who spoke to The Independent. Let's hope the USA can quickly find the big bugger and drone him. There's an even better idea. Iraqi soldiers might simply find him in hiding, and put him in a bag bound for Baghdad.

Zombie in the Elysées Palace

In The New York Times, the journalist Adam Nossiter has written an article [here] about the French president François Hollande.

The author looks upon Hollande as a living dead specimen who seems to be politically alive. Our president “still occupies the magnificent gilded Élysée Palace, still gives speeches attended by important people and still attends ribbon-cuttings”, whereas nobody believes for an instant that he’ll survive the forthcoming presidential election.

Hollande’s most unexpected recent attack—not only on his enemies, but on his former friends and associates—was a book of “secrets” published by two journalists, Gérard Davet and Fabrice Lhomme. It's title in English : A President Shouldn't Say Such Things.

In earlier days, François Hollande could only be bruised by a very tough opponent. Nowadays, he succeeds in doing the job all on his own.

Beginning of the end of the liberation of Mosul

Elite Iraqi soldiers moved into the north of Mosul yesterday, in the neighborhood of Gogjali. A few hours later, the general Taleb Cheghati Al-Kenani, in command of Iraqi counter-terrorist troops, said it was the beginning of the end of the liberation process that had started a fortnight ago. Meanwhile, tens of thousands of other Iraqi soldiers are encircling the city from the east, the north and the west, while the US-commanded coalition controls the air space.

Wounded Iraqi soldier
[Photo by French photographer Laurent Van der Stockt for Le Monde]

Experts believe that Daesh would have between 3,000 and 5,000 individuals in the city, striving to defend to the bitter end the place where their chief Abou Bakr Al-Baghdadi had proclaimed a caliphate over Iraqi and Syrian territory taken in 2014.

Moving into Mosul

Click here to see dramatic footage from Mosul. The journalist Arnaud Comte and his cameraman are working in a nasty environment.

Halloween without laughter

Dressed up to kill

In the centre of Toulouse, at 3 o’clock in the morning, police found a Halloween prankster disguised in black and khaki military wear, and carrying a fake assault weapon.

They picked up the 26-year-old idiot, who had already terrified several people in the street where he had been strolling along casually. In the scuffle, his fake gun was broken. The fool, already known to the police, couldn’t understand why he wasn’t allowed to do whatever pleased him on Halloween night. He was taken back to the police station, where he was charged with using a weapon to threaten people and presenting an apology for terrorism. Then he spent the night in solitary confinement.

I think he deserves some kind of special Halloween prize for poor taste.

Iraqi forces enter Mosul

The Iraqi army announced today that their forces have entered Mosul.

 

Lifeboats leaving a doomed ship

No !
We’re not boat people looking for a new land.
We’re simply abandoning a sinking ship.

In this political cartoon by Plantu, which appeared in L’Express, the captain of the red vessel is François Hollande, whose regard is directed constantly towards the heavens. The big ship in the foreground is a French Navy vessel, whose sailors are recognizable because of red pompons on their caps. The red vessel is about to crash into an iceberg whose summit has the same shape as Hollande's head. In the lifeboat, a tattered flag carries the rose symbol of Hollande’s Socialist party.

Electrician who worked for Picasso

In theory, when an electrician such as Pierre Le Guennec works well for a painter such as Pablo Picasso [1881-1973], it’s quite likely that he’ll receive a few paintings. The expression “a few” is vague. To be more precise, let’s say that the lucky electrician received a  bag full of 271 Picasso paintings. The electrician’s wife Danielle Le Guennec confirmed that they were a gift from the artist.

Some observers have never really believed this story about a gift from Picasso. That’s why the electrician and his wife were condemned in February 2015 for the concealment of stolen goods. Today, an appeals trial has started at Aix-en-Provence (Bouches-du-Rhône).

Precious little bottles marked V and H

Once upon a time, a con man in France made money by flogging little bottles marked V (vinaigre) and H (huile) to naive tourists, telling them that they once belonged to the great writer Victor Hugo.

Concerning vinegar, one might imagine that everything in France that can be said and done is a thing of the past. Imaginative rural sisters in the Beaujolais region, Lucie and Chloé (what charming names!) have demonstrated that there’s still room for innovation in this traditional domain. Using their grandmother’s ancient recipe, they created a new variety of vinegar, and they’ve already put 100,000 nice little bottles of their product onto the market. Several big distribution channels have jumped upon their offer. Also a celebrated French chef in Lyon. To say the least, their business doesn’t really have a bitter taste of vinegar.

Some splendid animals, once wild, are entering human society

I wrote a very dismal blog post here, which I now regret a little (but I’ll leave it untouched for the moment). It was simply far too simple for a naïve observer such as me to deplore the fact that a huge proportion of wild animals are going into oblivion. In writing that blog post, I was behaving in just as stupid a manner as Marie-Antoinette when she said that the starving people of Paris should simply eat cake. One has no right to boast about his lucky childhood when wild beasts could be observed roaming freely through the jungle. We must never forget that the vicious fellows who destroy free animals are indeed depraved human cousins, biologically closer to us than any so-called wild animal.

From now on, the only approach that would be worthy of a serious observer consists of concluding that, since magnificent wild animals are no longer capable of surviving in the jungle, where they are likely to be destroyed by vicious humans, then the only noble solution is to protect them as best we can, by whatever means we can imagine, including the idea of inviting as many beasts as possible into sanctuaries in the heart of our human societies.

Thoiry, in France, has been doing a splendid job in taking care of many beautiful beasts, and inviting visitors to see them up close.

Alongside these big beasts running around in liberty, click here to glimpse Thoiry’s Ark of small creatures.

Television is playing a role in making us aware, if need be, that so-called wild animals have always been our fabulous cousins. This awareness creates an atmosphere in which sanctuaries can obtain necessary funds. A few days ago, for example, I was one of millions of TV-viewers who watched a group of devoted young carers handling a female bonobo who needed to provide a blood sample. I felt the same sense of drama as if we were watching a surgical intervention upon a sick child.

Software for people who can’t handle traditional verbal culture

A Dutch software manufacturer named Assistiveware has created a tool named Proloquo2go for people who are incapable of handling traditional verbal culture. The tool incorporates a virtual on-screen keyboard with pictograms, and it is only offered, for the moment, to users of English, Spanish or French. Here’s an example of a typical pictogram phrase:

As soon as the user enters a set of pictograms, a speech synthesizer produces an audio version of the phrase.

This tool belongs to the domain of AAC [Alternative and Augmented Communication], which facilitates the life of people with elocution problems : autistic individuals, those with trisomy (including Down Syndrome) and victims of strokes or Parkinson’s disease. In France, about 1.3 million people suffer from such sensory handicaps.  In the special case of the Proloquo2go product, most users happen to be less than 11 years old.

Georges Brassens died 35 years ago

Click the loudspeaker icon to unmute

Jean-Pierre Darroussin : "J'ai rendez-vous avec vous"
Karin Viard : "Mourir pour des idées"
Michèl Fau : "Le pornographe"
Guillaume Gallienne : "La prière"
Audrey Tautou : "La mauvaise réputation"
Pierre Richard : "Les passantes"
Michel Bouquet : "Il n'y a pas d'amour heureux"
Catherine Frot : "La complainte des filles de joie
Lionel Abelanski : "Je me suis fait tout petit"
Roger Dumas : "Auprès de mon arbre"
Julie Depardieu : "Le gorille"
Léa Drucker : "Les amoureux des bancs publics"
François Morel :"La non-demande en mariage"
François Berléand : "Le temps ne fait rien à l'affaire"
Valérie Bonneton : "Chanson pour l'Auvergnat"
André Dussolier : "Supplique pour être enterré à la plage de Sète"

In France, this evening, everybody's thinking about the time of day

During the night, at 3 am, French clocks that still have old-fashioned "hands" will be expected to have them turned back an hour, to indicate 2 am. In other words, if I wake up tomorrow morning and climb out of bed in an accustomed manner, after what would appear to have been a good night's sleep, my Apple computer will inform me that it's earlier than what I might have expected... if only I hadn't read all the advice that has been appearing throughout the day in French news about switching back to winter daylight hours. It's not a big problem here at Gamone, since I only have my old watch and two wall clocks to wind back. Here's a good French reminder :

Opening of the tomb of Jesus in Jerusalem

As far as big news goes, this is really Big News. For the first time in centuries, the tomb of Jesus Christ in Jerusalem is being opened.

It goes without saying (but I’ll nevertheless say so) that there is nothing whatsoever inside this time-honored hole in the ground. Besides, I can’t understand why Christians dare to even speak of the alleged “tomb” of their hero. Click here to access a National Geographic website that proposes a short video on the exposure of Christ’s so-called “burial place”. Here again, it’s time for somebody to inform that respected magazine that, in theory, Jesus was never buried anywhere. Everybody agrees that Jesus died on an atrocious wooden torture instrument. (Well, most people agree... except for those who consider that the alleged individual simply never even existed.) But Christians consider that he didn't stay dead for more than a few days, and was certainly never buried. I'll terminate my brief explanations there, because readers are surely familiar with that tale.