Saturday, February 16, 2013

Several things that make sense

Over the last hour, a guy named Richard Dawkins has been using Twitter to create a brilliantly succinct treatise on Christian theology.

Here are the basic points of his theological wisdom, which all make sense... even though they are necessarily so esoteric at times that common mortals might not grasp their profound sense immediately:
• Joseph Ratzinger became infallible in a puff of smoke 19/4/2005. About to become fallible again 28/2/2013. Makes sense.
A wafer, if blessed by a priest (who must have a penis and intact testicles) literally becomes the body of Christ. Makes sense.

God is simultaneously himself and his son (and a ghost). Makes sense.

God couldn't think of a better way to forgive the sin of Adam (who never existed) than to have his son (aka himself) executed. Makes sense.

Adam didn't exist, but his sin was so huge that the Creator of the Expanding Universe needed a blood sacrifice to pay for it. Makes sense.

The SUBSTANCE of the wine truly becomes the blood of a 1st century Jew. Only the ACCIDENTALS are fermented grape juice. Makes sense.

Jesus's 12 apostles all had penises. Therefore if you don't have a penis you can't be a priest. Makes sense.

Isaiah prophesied "young woman" would bear a messiah. Mistranslated into Greek as virgin. So Jesus had to have a virgin mother. Makes sense.
"Let your women keep silence in the churches; for it is not permitted unto them to speak" Makes sense.

And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home; for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." Makes sense.
Creator of the Universe went to great trouble to create the foreskin. Then insisted that you cut it off. Makes sense.

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