The Laughing Cow

This brand of processed cheese has always been very popular in France, particularly among children.

Everybody loves the crazy trademark of a bright red cow—with a white muzzle and horns, and large packet-shaped earrings (like the circular boxes in which the cheese is supplied)—that is clearly laughing... for reasons that nobody really knows. The product is 95 years old. Every day, in 120 countries throughout the world, ten million wedge-shaped portions of this cheese are eaten. The first box, created when this cheese was being delivered to French troops in World War I, was associated with the term whose pronunciation sounded, to the ears of French soldiers, like the enemy's term Valkyrie.

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Early versions of the circular cheese boxes were in fact metallic.

Everything about this product is associated with laughter and joy. So, it's a fabulous French marketing success, appreciated throughout the entire world.

Australian study debunks homeopathy

Here in France, most pharmacies sell homeopathic products, and countless French citizens seem to consider that it's possibly an authentic branch of medical science. This nasty subject reminds me of tales of the Loch Ness monster.

Click here for references to an article about Australia's latest negative reactions to this fashionable quackery.

Aussies are indeed a weird mob

I’ve often thought that the brains of some of my fellow-countrymen become scrambled at times, as if they’d spent too much time in the sun. Aussies who are brain-damaged in this unusual way lose their capacity to use common sense in their reasoning. They start to babble on as if they were inebriated or drugged. They start to speak in tongues, like the Disciples. Australia has always had a terrifying native collection of deadly insects, reptiles and sharks. But soft-brained inspectors persist in believing that these killers are harmless compared to the cute little puppies brought into Australia by a foreign visitor.

My wife and I were startled, long ago, when inspectors sprayed us with pesticides and confiscated products we were carrying for our baby daughter. My friend Geoff saw his cans of precious French foie gras dragged away as if they were deadly.

The scrambled brains of legal experts decided that a good way to punish the actor and his wife would consist of demanding that they put together a tourist video on the alleged splendours of Aussie scenery! Shit...

Throw a few more fucking prawns on the barbie!

A French journalist designated this punishment as "digital humiliation".
Click here for French treatment of this news. If you succeed in watching their tourist video, you'll see that Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are having trouble to prevent themselves from breaking into laughter. In a quite different domain, I'm reminded of Vladimir Putin who surely cringed in terror when he heard that powerful Tony Abbott had threatened to "shirt-front" him.
It's all so ridiculous...

DNA testing

Click here to see a video about a DNA trial carried out this weekend in a French village, Trélivan (Côtes-d'Armor), in the hope of identifying a local youth who had attempted to rape a 22-year-old jogger a year ago.

This criminal investigation reminds us of the terrible affair involving the rape and murder of a 13-year-old English girl, Caroline Dickenson, in July 1996, in a youth hostel in another Breton village, Pleine-Fougères (Ille-et-Vilaine, near Saint-Malo). In spite of systematic DNA trials, the murderer— a Spaniard named Francisco Arce Montes—was only captured by chance, 5 years later, thanks to a bright US detective, Tommy Ontko, when the criminal happened to be holidaying in Miami.

Ontko's fortuitous work played a fundamental role in enlightening the French public on the amazing possibilities of DNA testing to track criminals. Today, in the village where yesterday's testing was carried out, I would imagine that everybody was motivated by the fantastic possibilities of this kind of scientific police investigation.

Sorry, You Can’t Speed Read

If you've got time to read this interesting one-page article, click here. You might find it useful.

Woody Allen joke about taking a speed-reading course. “I read ‘War and Peace’ in 20 minutes,” he says. “It’s about Russia.”

We're in France, we spik French

I've always been surprised and amused whenever I discover, for the Nth time, that French people are generally quite incompetent in English. Click here to find a few good examples.

Tara Pacific 2016-2018 expedition

This appears to be a splendid project.

Powerful playgrounds in Ghana

This kind of roundabout, installed in various school playgrounds in Ghana, generates electricity to light lamps that can then be used by the children. What a bright idea!

Making myself feel antediluvian

Every individual has a way of making oneself feel as old as a dinosaur. My failproof method consists of watching old cycling videos. Click here for a typical aging device.

Not much to say

I watched and listened until late in the evening. But François Hollande didn't seem to have any exciting news for us. There's no doubt in my mind that the president is an intelligent man, who speaks well. But you can't squeeze wine or water, or even moisture, out of a stone. He had little to tell us... and that's more or less what we heard.

For the moment, we don't know whether or not Hollande intends to be a candidate in the forthcoming presidential election, but he says we'll receive a firm answer to that question before the end of the year. His decision will only be affirmative, so it seems, if the French economic situation were to make a dramatic positive leap... which would be great news for everybody. But I fail to see how such an economic miracle could become a reality within the remaining months of 2016. That would be a bit like Agnès Saal informing us [click here] that she intends to get involved in a Parisian taxi-bike business.

But why not ?

Airport software accepts two French passengers who exchanged passports

This demonstration appears to be valid... but there's no firm proof of the absence of stage tricks.

Places that can be seen by my son in Brittany

Up until recently, I was constantly puzzled by the question of the not-so-distant places that could or could not be observed from the house of my son François Skyvington in Brittany. Click here to see a recent post that mentions a few of these places. I had the impression that my blog offered a good conclusion to most aspects of this interesting question. Well, I don't know whether my son actually studied that blog post carefully. Be that as it may, half-an-hour ago, he phoned me up to say that he was thrilled to have concluded, this afternoon, that distant lights that he could see in a north-easterly direction from his upper-floor study (using binoculars) were in fact located, not on French territory, but in the British island of Jersey.

I found that news weird, because I believed that my son had spent so many hours (days, months and years) staring out across the splendid English Channel, from his delightful house on the cliff-tops of Plouha, that the wonderful view no longer held any kind of secrets for him.

Certain websites are strictly brain-damaged

I saw this heading:

Conspiracy theorists believe Mongolian mummy

‘wearing Adidas’ is proof of time travel

And here's their image:

I'm not sure there's any way of treating such a terribly sick website. I have the impression that it would be more humane if the website were to be calmly euthanized, to put it out of its misery. If not, the miserable website is likely to suffer excruciating pain for years to come.

French arms supplier for terrorists arrested

In many ways, memories of the horrible Paris terrorist attacks of January 2015 (Charlie Hebdo and the Hyper Cacher) seem to be so far away in the past that they almost belong to ancient history.

I've just heard that a 27-year-old French fellow captured yesterday in the south of Spain was an arms merchant who provided weapons to the terrorist Amedy Coulibaly who attacked the Hyper Cacher at Porte de Vincennes on 9 January 2015.

If this accusation could be proven to be true, beyond any doubt whatsoever, I feel that there's little point in bringing this fellow back to face a trial in Paris. Couldn't the French Republic offer him a free boat trip down towards Somalia, accompanied by the other fellows I talked about yesterday? I have the impression that more in-depth imagination is necessary in the way we handle certain proven delinquents. There's no point, as they say in the classics, in beating around the bush.

Am I suggesting, in a way, that the death penalty might be reintroduced in France for certain exceptional crimes? Maybe. The question  has never really arisen up until now, for the simple reason that we've had relatively few convicted criminals with blood on their hands and infinite evil in their heads. Give me time to think about that...

Splendid painting found in a French attic

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The younger woman on the right, Judith, is using a sword to hack off the head of an Assyrian general, Holofernes. This splendid painting, possibly the work of Caravaggio, was found by chance in the attic of an ancient dwelling near Toulouse. Click here to access a short video on this fascinating subject.

Caravaggio had already painted an earlier version of this same theme.

Click here to access a Wiki article on this first version of the painting.

Abominable fellows

During my first voyage to Europe, in 1962, our Greek ship Bretagne dropped in at an exotic but desolate place named Aden.

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In those days, Aden (now known as Yemen) was still a British protectorate. As a naive young Australian, totally devoid of political intelligence (as is probably still the case for many of my fellow Australians), that short visit to Aden was akin to dropping in at DisneyLand on a day when there were general strikes and power cuts, and everything was topsy-turvy. I remember the archaic look of the dusty old town, and the presence of beggars and wounded people. Later, I talked about Aden with an imaginative Sydney friend, Richard O'Sullivan, who had developed the habit of referring to the township as "Limb Valley", meant to draw attention ironically to the striking presence of citizens who were missing an arm or a leg.

In those days, nobody imagined that scoundrels from that corner of the globe—from Somalia in particular, on the nearby shores of the isthmus—would soon decide to transform themselves, aboard flimsy vessels, into murderous pirates.

These days, in France, we're aware of this nasty form of terrorism, because French forces captured seven of these poor primitive bastards, who are now awaiting their sentencing in a Paris court of law.

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On 8 September 2011, in the Gulf of Aden, they attacked the pleasure craft of a French holiday-maker, Christian Colombo, skipper of the Tribal Kat, and murdered him savagely. I've always thought that it's hard to understand the presence of these seven stupid rogues, from far across the waters, in a great French law court in Paris. Later this afternoon, we shall inevitably learn that these seven fellows have been sentenced to many years in a French jail, where they'll stay until they rot. Now, that situation troubles me immensely. I have the impression that there's something wrong with the French legal system when it captures seven uncouth ruffians, out on the open seas, and brings them back here to the heart of France where they'll inevitably be thrown into chilly cells for the rest of their miserable lives. To my mind, there is little chance that these ruffians will truly grasp what has happened to them, and why. There's something perfectly normal in the idea of sentencing such criminals to harsh punishment, if only to prevent them from repeating their crimes. But I persist in believing that something has gone wrong, and that those idiots don't really deserve to be subjected to that kind of handling. They certainly needed to be captured, sentenced and punished. But maybe differently... whatever that might mean. (I'm deliberately vague, because I really don't know the answers to the questions I'm raising.)

In my previous blog post, I evoked a splendid human theme: the Sermon on the Mount. I'm curious to know how the author of that monumental message—human, too human—would have expected us to deal with Daesh terrorists and Somali pirates...

Sermon on the Mount

Designating a series of moralistic lessons said to have been preached by Jesus in the vicinity of Capernaum alongside the Sea of Galilee, the evangelist Matthew invented what came to be known as the Sermon on the Mount : no doubt the most novel and awesome presentation of moral philosophy and intense love in the history of human thought.

I had the chance to find myself at this unique spot on Friday 16 December 1988, after a coach trip to the Arab town of Nazareth, during my first trip to Israel. This was a chance for me to realize fully that everything I had ever imagined about Christianity was summed up exclusively in that extraordinary Sermon on the Mount, which seemed to have been conceived spontaneously in the middle of the countryside. Above all, these lessons went against the grain of everything that rich people, tyrants and evil men might have ever imagined.

These days, whenever inspired folk start trying to tell me how we might welcome Islamic believers into our societies, I wonder instantly: Have Muslims ever grasped what the Sermon on the Mount is all about? I have no reason to suppose that they've ever even heard of it, let alone been inspired by its fabulous messages.

Number of wild tigers in the world has risen by 22%

That's the sort of unexpected news that fills me with hope and pride.

The number of wild tigers has increased from 3,200 in 2010 to 3,890 at present: an increase of almost 22%. Tiger countries include Bangladesh, Bhutan, Cambodia, China, Indonesia, India, Laos, Malaysia, Myanmar, Nepal, Russian Federation, Thailand and Vietnam.

We probably infected European Neanderthals with our African diseases

Neanderthal populations of Europe and Asia were probably weakened by pathogens that we homo sapiens emigrants brought with us when we moved away from our African birthplace. We probably didn't actually kill them in an outright manner, but the Neanderthals would have surely picked up our diseases such as tapeworms, tuberculosis, stomach ulcers and herpes. And these new afflictions would have no doubt sickened members of the old community to such an extent that they could no longer care for themselves by foraging and hunting.

Neanderthals seem to have been driven to extinction around 40,000 years ago. We didn't necessarily act deliberately in killing them. It has been suggested that we Humans and certain Neanderthal friends even got around to friendly sessions of rock-and-roll, resulting in genetic traces that remain in our present chromosomes. But the Neanderthals nevertheless disappeared from Europe and Asia soon after our arrival. You might say that it wasn't really our fault. But in a sense, it was.

Serial taxi rider

In April 2014, Agnès Saal was nominated as president of the Institut national de l'audiovisuel (which was an emanation of the Service de la Recherche de l'ORTF where I worked in the early 1970s).

A year later, the lady was obliged to abandon her high-level appointment after having been accused of an unusual misdemeanour. She appeared to have spent an exceptionally large amount of public money on taxi trips. When I first heard about this affair, I simply couldn't imagine how a professional person in Paris could possibly spend so much money on taxis.

I still can't understand how she did so... particularly when I learn that she had a professional chauffeur-driven automobile. Her children may have made taxi trips in Paris, but that wouldn't seem to account for all the expenses. In their attempts to shed light upon this mystery, many journalists asked questions.

Finally, her huge taxi bills remain a mystery. I'm convinced that, one of these days, we'll come upon a clear logical explanation...