Imagining the future in God’s Own Country

It’s perfectly possible that Trump could become the next US president. For the moment, polls put the two contenders in a dead heat. (What an ugly and somewhat terrifying expression!)

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I’m troubled by a not-impossible consequence of the not-impossible victory of Trump, particularly when I learn that Texas is against the candidate. In the USA, many brave folk would not accept his election as the president. And many of those citizens carry weapons. Put two and two together… I’m surely not the only observer who thinks that way. I hope my thinking is merely an empty nightmare. Not an empty charger.

To put it bluntly, this man has a screw loose

Click here to see Nicolas Sarkozy raving on about his "passion de la France". I'm convinced that French people—who aren't idiots—are going to wake up massively to the insane egocentric behavior of the ex-president. Let me remind readers that this man is currently faced with a possible trial for the illegal financing of his last electoral campaign. In my native Australia, we used to have nice expressions (rarely understandable) for such a fellow (rarely for a famous polly):

• "He's all over the road like a mad woman's shit."

• "He's as mad as a cut snake."

It's fascinating to study Sarko's facial movements. They offer such a pile of explicit psychiatric indications that a simple untrained observer like me can detect the presence of clues to the man's mind.

Pebble in Sarkozy’s shoe

That’s the metaphor invented by Le Monde to designate the suggestion that Sarkozy should be brought to trial.

The magistrates handling the Sarkozy case are not obliged to respect any kind of time delay before deciding whether to bring him to trial, or whether to establish what is termed an “ordonnance de non-lieu” : a ruling that simply states the absence of grounds for pursuing the affair. With respect to the presidential primaries to be held in November, this decision could be announced either before or after that time.

The journalist of Le Monde used the verb “pollute” to designate the possible effects of the Sarkozy affair upon those primaries.

Lawrence Durrell's Greece

Lawrence Durrell

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If Sarko is tried, how might it end?

The poor man (?) has just been told that he'll normally face a court trial. So, let's give him time to get himself organized for that ordeal. And above all, in the excellent time-honored French tradition, let us assume totally (I stress that adverb, seriously: totally) that Nicolas Sarkozy is indeed, for the moment, innocent. In other words, let us suppose that the man has been accused wrongly, unjustly... and that he will surely find ways of demonstrating, beyond any doubts whatsoever, that it was an error for people to drag him into a court of law. If events were to turn out in that way, then the case against Nicolas Sarkozy would be dropped, as it were. If I correctly understand French legal jargon (which is not necessarily the case), we would avoid saying that he was acquitted or shown to be innocent, because both those expressions might leave vague doubts suspended in the air above Sarkozy's head. The politically correct way of expressing such an outcome would consist of saying that it was decided by the parquet to abandon all pursuits against the man brought to trial.

If I make blunders in my understanding of French legal terminology, it would be nice if an educated reader were to put me on the right path.

Learning the facts of Sarkozy's future trial

I'm making an effort to master the facts of Nicolas Sarkozy's future trial... which could possibly take place next year. It seems to me that the very idea of trying a former president is enormous, which means that we should look gravely upon this future trial. It will be a most exceptional event. Besides, Sarkozy has been hoping to become the president of France for a second time. Instead of awaiting the results of a presidential election, he'll be awaiting the verdict of a court of law.

Sarkozy's lawyer is 60-year-old Thierry Herzog, who is a personal friend of the former president.

Already, this afternoon, Herzog has surprised observers by making erroneous statements. Up until now, Sarkozy has been subjected to a single legal operation, designated as an examination (mise en examen), which took place last February. The motive for his being examined was the illegal financing of an electoral campaign, and five facts were retained against Sarkozy. The examination was carried out by a body known as the parquet of Paris. The examination came to an end on August 30. The original motive and facts might have been totally replaced by new entities, but this was not entirely the case. In deciding that Sarkozy should be brought to trial, the parquet retained the same motive: namely the illegal financing of an electoral campaign. On the other hand, the parquet abandoned the first two facts, and only retained the last three :

1. Sarkozy had exceeded the ceiling of electoral expenses.
   
2. He had failed to respect the rules for establishing his campaign's accounting.
   
3. He had inserted, in the accounting, some elements that were deliberately understated.
   

Now, Herzog suggested today that the parquet, in moving from the examination to the present réquisitoire, had committed legal errors. Clearly, this is untrue, because no new elements whatsoever have been inserted. We have seen, above all, that the motive for sending Sarkozy to trial is strictly identical to the motive for examining him. So, it appears that Herzog was trying to pull the wool over our eyes when he suggested the existence of legal irregularities.

Copé reacts to an announced trial for Sarko

"This new element confirms my innocence in that affair,

wrongly designated as the Bygmalion Affair.

That affair concerns solely the campaign accounting of Nicolas Sarkozy."

What exactly did Jean-François Copé have in mind when he spoke of "this new element" ? I see no new elements thrown recently into what we designate, rightly or wrongly, as the Bygmalion affair. We simply learnt that the parquet has decided that Nicolas Sarkozy, deemed for the moment to be innocent, must face a court trial. And the motive for Sarkozy's being brought to face this future trial was the illegal financing of an electoral campaign. In other words, the trial is expected to determine whether or not Sarkozy did in fact finance illegally his electoral campaign. Now, that is not exactly what might be called a "new element" in this affair. It's merely the normal down-to-earth unfolding of ordinary French processes of law.

Once upon a time, they were friends

The smaller friend, on the right, is Nicolas Sarkozy, who used to be the French president. His friend on the left is Jean-François Copé, who used to be in charge of Sarko’s political party, the UMP. Then there’s an excellent news magazine, Le Point.

Last but not least, there's a mysterious French communications company named Bygmalion.

• In February 2014, Le Point said that Copé had favorized the Bygmalion agency, enabling it to pocket some 8 million euros during Sarkozy’s presidential campaign in 2012. Copé was obliged to resign, and the legal system of Paris opened an enquiry.

• Bygmalion revealed a ghost system of accounting.

• On April Fool’s Day 2015, Sarkozy was dragged into the affair.

• On September 4, 2015, Sarko blamed Copé for the mess.

• A member of Bygmalion, Jérôme Lavrilleux, counter-attacked Sarko, who was examined by legal authorities (along with 13 other individuals) for illegal financing of his political campaign.

And that’s about where we are today. You'll certainly be hearing more about this affair, in the French press, in the near future.

Remake of a famous French movie

Everybody in France loves Les Valseuses of Bertrand Blier, with Gérard Depardieu, Patrick Dewaere, Miou-Miou and Jeanne Moreau. John Turturro, who acted in Barton Fink and The Big Lebowski, is working on an updated version of the great French cult film. That explains—so I hear—last night’s crazy new hairdo of Audrey Tautou.

Is it really true that Audrey will be taking over the Miou-Miou role ?

Rope net dropped around Sarko

The Bygmalion affair has just been dropped onto Sarko's head. If he can succeed in escaping from that mess between now and the presidential election, he's a Houdini. But the guy is as cunning as an educated ferret. So, he'll possibly succeed...

Cartooning for Peace

A nice tweet from an admirable organization: @CartooningPeace

 

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For  reasons I don't understand, it took me some messing around to include both the Twitter name of the organization and the cartoon. Everything on the Internet is becoming more and more difficult...

Ancient history of my paternal family

It's a long time since I've mentioned my ancient ancestors in the Leicestershire village of Skeffington. I devoted considerable energy to the publication of my books A Little Bit of Irish and They Sought the Last of Lands. Today, I'm tremendously proud of both books, but I believe that I should no longer remain attached to such subjects. Nevertheless, I remain intrigued by ancient paternal genealogy, particularly since I persist—for reasons of genealogical genetics—in seeing myself as a rare survivor of the earliest imaginable patriarch in Leicester. If I were particularly energetic (which I'm not, particularly since falling down the stairs a year ago), I would pursue an interesting line of my paternal genealogy: namely, research into the identity of the Norman fellow who settled in the English place that came to be known as Skeffington.

When I left this subject, prior to falling down the stairs a year ago, I was particularly intrigued by the case of an ancient Norman family called Verdun, who were closely attached to the village of Skeffington. There's even a chance that my earliest male ancestor in Leicestershire might have been a member of this Verdun family.

So, I am still interested in contacting living descendants of this ancient family, to see if they have any Y-chromosome data they could show me (so I could compare it with mine). But there's a major unexpected hitch. The most prominent living Verdun descendant happens to be the husband of... Christine Dupont de Ligonnès. And I don't intend to start asking those people if they might assist me with DNA research.

Two different young politicians with a similar viewpoint

Click here to see François Baroin talking about Manuel Valls on the subject of Islamic head attire for females. It’s reassuring to find youthful French politicians, on opposite sides of the fence, sharing similar views concerning the challenge of chasing obscurity from modern France.

Just a star away

A stone’s throw ? Not exactly. A little bit more. Aim your stellar pebble in this direction.

Jeanne Moreau sings “Le tourbillon” on March 2, 1969

I don’t know whether this movie clip loads easily. It probably takes time, but it's worth waiting. When Jeanne Moreau recorded this song, my son was still a six-months-old fœtus in his mother’s womb. The man alongside Jeanne was the former journalist Pierre Lazareff, who had become a press baron and producer of variety performers.

Weavers all gone

Fred Hellerman, 89, the last member of The Weavers folk group, has finally left the stage forever. In this old video, he's the seated chap.

Trivial sad story

Male penises are never totally tamed. No matter how we try to teach them refined behavior and nice manners, they have a habit of remaining wild and savage, hard-headed, ready to attack their owners. They can become as mad as a dog with rabies. If the worst gets to the worst, a rabid penis may have to be lobotomized or even euthanized. In most cases, fortunately, they can be tranquillized by pharmaceutical drugs.

François Bayrou (à gauche) et Robert Rochefort,

le 19 mai 2014 à Pau (Pyrénées-Atlantiques). (GAIZKA IROZ / AFP)

A distinguished French political fellow was found masturbating publicly, last Wednesday, near children. Robert Rochefort, 60, is a political companion of the president of the MoDem party, of François Bayrou, mayor of Pau. The alleged wrongdoer—who apparently recognized his act, but then claimed that the words were untrue—has been asked to resign. It’s terrible to observe the career of Rochefort stagnating, if not culminating forever, in this sad fashion. But such is life. Such are mad penises.

Festival of drones on the Champs-Elysées

Tomorrow (Sunday), more than 100,000 spectators are expected to attend the inaugural Paris Drone Festival on the Champs-Elysées.

photo signed DR from Le Parisien

Dozens of tiny aircraft, piloted by their ground-based owners, will race up and down the famous Paris avenue beneath a gigantic canopy, 140 metres long and 17 metres wide. This big “tent” will be located near the top of the Champs-Elysées. At the same time, the entire avenue, 2 km from Concorde to Etoile, will be closed to road traffic, and no doubt protected by massive police forces.

Meanwhile, it’s interesting to note that big brothers (or rather American cousins) of these elegant little Parisian drones will continue to work in faraway places, attempting to shoot to death Islamic criminals.

Ratification of the COP21 treaty

This morning, we've heard that both China and the USA have finally ratified the COP21 treaty. Laurent Fabius will be happy, of course. And so will everybody.

Identity of Banksy

A new theory has arisen. Maybe the street artist Banksy is in fact the leader of the Massive Attack group, Robert “3D” Del Naja.