Friday, December 10, 2010

Dressing up

My article of 5 November 2010 entitled Vatican fashions [display] included a few images of the sartorial finery associated with the Vatican these days. Within the ranks of the Church, pedophiliac scandals are continuing as strongly as ever. Yesterday, figures were released concerning an innocent God-fearing nation, Holland, which now has a global tally of nearly 2000 explicit victims. In the sexual crime stakes, Holland is therefore running a close second to Ireland. Naturally, all the recent bad vibes concerning the Church mean that fewer and fewer pious young males dream of becoming cardinals. This has led to a surplus of all kinds of ecclesiastic outfits in the Vatican warehouses. Since the pope needs more and more money to pay off the countless people who are pursuing pedophiliac prelates in various countries throughout the world, he has decided to sell off a lot of the Vatican's excess fashion gear. Here's a very popular item, which is simply a recycled cardinal's robe that has been stitched up along the bottom:

Described in the sales literature as a "TV blanket with sleeves", it's ideal for watching the telly on cold evenings.

Let's move on to another intriguing example of exotic attire (obtained from the French Gallica website). Try to guess why this individual has decked himself out in what looks like a birdsuit:

Believe it or not, this was the uniform of medical doctors operating in the context of the great plague of Marseille in 1720. The long beak, containing aromatic substances, was intended to pierce the pestiferous air and prevent foul vapors from reaching the physician.

Talking of birdsuits, have a look at the exploits of this Russian guy:


  1. Looks like the kind of thing you need for those cold winter nights in Gamone William (with our without the contents)!

  2. The Pope may have to sell some additional gear to also cover the cost of embezzlement in New York. Refer attached link.

  3. I would gladly order the complete product as illustrated in their ad, including the blonde blanket-partner. But you can never be sure you'll get exactly what you've asked for. I would be afraid they might send me a recycled cardinal's gown with the partly-fossilized remains of a decrepit cardinal inside. In that case, it would be messy to have to get rid of him before I could watch TV in comfort. As for the amazing story of the enterprising American nun [display], I'm wondering how the hell she could have spent all that spare cash. Maybe she was a so-called cougar who had got into the habit of dating young males who reminded her of the adolescent Jesus when he was a carpentry apprentice up in Nazareth, well before he started doing his acts in the flash night spots of the Galilee sea resorts and the big smoke of Jerusalem. In any case, it's wonderful to observe that, in spite of the harsh vows of poverty and chastity, a smart lady can still transform her vocation into a lucrative affair. God and the Church need strong and imaginative Christian women like that.